Dub Phizix is not on Snapchat Is not into tech house Does not own anything made by Supreme Has never been to The Maldives Does not use the word “chillax” Thinks marzipan is overrated Has no desire to go backpacking Has never “planked” Does not support the England football team Does not use his Google plus account Did not buy in to the X-men hype Does not own any hiking clothes Would never end a descriptive sentence with the word “stylee” Thinks modern furniture is rarely comfortable Has never been skiing Has never used the word ‘class’ as a synonym or as an alternative to the word “good” Does not like his name being abbreviated to dub Does not like normal mushrooms Did not laugh when he watched The Mighty Boosh Does not waste time making stupid lists Is not embarrassed about enjoying “wind of change” by The Scorpions Does not have a double barrel surname Would not select chocolate as his first choice of milkshake Is not a person you should leave around your crisps Does not go out in fancy dress Does not know anyone who drives a Smart car™ Does not like coconut Will not “Just pop you on the guest list” Does not use the word random in a blasé fashion Does not use the word blasé Does not contradict himself Does not accept unsolicited phone calls Does not use sun beds Does not moan about trivial things and is widely considered a jovial and agreeable character