Jasper Blazik, aka "Juicebox", is a lesser-known cryptid within the Chicago area. He is usually seen roaming the halls of the local university, buying too many chips at 7/11, and even making mediocre EDM at times. He got ungodly lucky in October of 2019 and accidentally created a half-decent synthwave song, which he dubbed "wont_feel_right()" and submitted to the Half Heart Project label, where the owner made the mistake of having enough pity to accept it. A few months later, the label Cyberduck accepted an equally mediocre future bass track he had created over the course of three weeks. What Cyberduck, the Half Heart Project, and really anybody listening to Juicebox failed to realize: he's secretly just a rabbit. He hops on his keyboard and mouse in the right places at the right time and eventually makes a song. For all intents and purposes, the entity known as Jasper "Juicebox" Blazik is a very intelligent bunny. Where Juicebox will be spotted next, nobody knows. Send me your social security number.