I am never bored these days The days feel normal in the middle but strange during the nights and In my mornings My brain is performing in the traditional way Which is to say I think and then I do I ask questions and learn during most of my day I am never bored I feel an immense tension between the way things are and the way they should be But only when I stop to think It's in my limbs and my organs mostly At least sometimes I find it there When I remember I have them When I remember I have something there These days There are times I'm numb and There are times I feel everything intensely I seldom doubt myself and I have self-control most of the time In fact I developed an ego specifically for these times and Over time It may not have died but The way that it has survived One could argue it isn't much of a life And still I'm never bored The extremities make it so Excited and fearful too As I plan my escape I am never bored these days